


When I Needed You Most, You Were Right on Time

by Reading_with_Winchesters



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cute, Fluff, Gay, Happy Ending, I just love hurting this boy, I'm Sorry, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Snark, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal!Draco, mostly angst tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 12:32:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10831347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reading_with_Winchesters/pseuds/Reading_with_Winchesters
Summary: Draco and Harry are happy now, but was it always this way?





	When I Needed You Most, You Were Right on Time

“Have you ever considered suicide?” Draco asked one night, snuggled up into his boyfriend’s chest. He was hoping that the cuteness of the snuggling might distract a little from the gravity of the question.

“Have I ever what?” Harry asked, startled.

“You heard me.” Draco’s voice was muffled because he had buried it in Harry’s chest, “You know, you’ve been through so much and people still give you shit and send you howlers. Have you considered just ending it all so it goes away?”

If Draco was asking a question like this it must be important, so Harry considered his answer carefully. He had known Draco struggled after the war and that he still did sometimes, and he knew that Draco rarely ever opened up about his emotions or anything, really. Most times he was all snark and smirks and sarcastic comments.

“Potter, I knew you were slow, but really? A simple yes or no question and it takes you three bloody minutes.” There was that sass. Harry sighed:

“No, I really haven’t.” He answered. He was sure that this was not the answer Draco wanted to hear, but it was the truth, and he knew his boyfriend would appreciate the truth more than a comforting lie.

There was silence from the blond, but the way his hand traced patterns on Harry’s chest let him know that it was not out of anger. 

“I have.” Came a whisper.

How on Earth was Harry supposed to respond to that? At this moment in time, Harry would almost rather face Voldemort than have to figure out how to not make this situation worse. He had never been good with words. If only Hermione was here. Well, maybe not in the room; if only Hermione had given Harry an earpiece that she could use to talk to him and tell him what to do.

“I-I’m sorry.” Harry said awkwardly, “You shouldn’t have had to.”

“You saved my life, you know.” Draco continued, ignoring Harry, much to Harry’s relief. Then the statement hit and Harry could do nothing but continue to listen, “First you spoke at my trial, and that gave me some hope that maybe some people could forgive me for what I did. Then I didn’t see you for three more years, and that was when everything was at its worst. I couldn’t get a job, I didn’t have a house, my family was in jail, nobody would even look at me. The Daily Prophet printed multiple articles about me and in general about how former Death Eaters should be persecuted harshly. I felt hopeless; nothing was going right and nothing was ever going to. I let myself wallow and get worse and worse until I literally did not get out of bed for days at a time. I was going to die, even if I didn’t take action.

“And then you came into my life. You had already forgiven me and all you ever did was try to help. I didn’t believe it for the first few weeks. I thought I was just a charity case - you were sent by the ministry at first, so you can’t blame me - and that you didn’t care. I started planning how to kill myself so you wouldn’t feel obliged to visit me or take care of me anymore.

“But you stayed. The longer you stayed, the less sure I was that you didn’t care. I decided to put my plans aside for a month and see what happened. You kissed me a week after that and before I knew it, we were engaged. I haven’t even thought about those plans since I put them down that night. I haven’t had to.” Draco’s speech ended and there was complete silence. Draco continued to trace patterns on Harry’s chest, but Harry could feel his finger shaking.

He had thought it was hard enough to reply to Draco’s first comment. How the hell was he gonna handle this? The longer he took, however, the harder Draco’s had shook. When it got to the point where he curled it into a fist and just left it still against Harry’s abdomen, Harry gave up and just said the first thing he could think of:

“Of course I stayed.” Damn, that was better than he was expecting. Draco went stiff against him in surprise, so Harry continued hurriedly, “I mean, I haven’t really hated you in a very long time. I fell in love with you the first day I came to check on you. You were sick and looked disgusting,” Draco punched him, not lightly, that was not Draco’s style, but it wasn’t as hard as it could have been. Harry grinned a little, “But you obviously cared what other people thought and you were obviously sorry for everything you had done. You looked so weak and all I wanted to do was protect you. I’m not sure when I realized it was love, but I wouldn’t have helped you so much if I didn’t love you.” Harry wrapped up his speech before he started babbling and made a right fool of himself. God knew he did that enough.

“God Potter,” Draco muttered after a few moments, “Who would have known you to be such a sentimental bastard.” The bite of the words did not really work considering he had taken Harry’s hand and was slowly massaging every inch of it, his head buried in Harry’s chest and his legs wrapped around Harry’s waist. Normally this position would be very distracting, but the circumstances at hand did not really allow for that kind of mood to seep in.

“And yet, you love me.”

‘I don’t have the faintest idea why.”

“Yes you do.”

Normally Draco would have put up a major fight to that comment before eventually giving in half way, but now all he said was a soft, “Yeah, I do.”

Harry smiled, “Now who’s being sentimental?”

“Oh shut up.” Draco groaned, lifting his head off of Harry, “I swear on Merlin’s right armpit if you ever tell anyone about this - and that includes Weasley and/or Granger - I will not have any sort of sex with you for a month.”

Harry fake gasped, “ Not even -”

Draco interrupted before Harry could even finish, “Nope.” He popped the last syllable to add emphasis.

“How dare you,” Harry demanded playfully, “And after all I’ve done for you.”

“Oh shut up.” Draco rolled his eyes and pecked Harry on the lips before dropping his head back to Harry’s chest and settling in to go to sleep.

Harry was almost asleep when he heard a small “Thank you.”

“For what?” He asked blearily

“For staying,” Draco muttered, “and for saving my life.”

Despite the gravity of what they had talked about, they both slept soundly that night, safe in each other's’ arms from every monster; physical or mental.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys, I know I'm supposed to be working on that Drarry series, but that is happy and right now I am feeling the sad writing now, so here this is. I swear, that will be the next thing I published. Anyway, yeah, I really love making Malfoy suffer and get over it, so here this is. I hope you guys enjoyed it, and I want to say that I am in no way glorifying suicide or depression or any mental disorder: they fucking suck. I just wanted to explore this. Sorry for all the notes, I hope you enjoyed! Leave kudos or comments to let me know what you thought :)


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